Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Advertisements that are......

...an insult to the female gender.

1) Nutrisystem. These air all over GSN (you know, only fat people watch Match Game), and, there it was on CNN yesterday at McDonalds.....

Check THIS line out (I'm quoting the best as I can....)

"I have my life back; my husband says he has his wife back."

Okay...his wife was GONE because she put on 40 pounds. First, I could on all day with jokes about, you know, "there was more of her, how could he lose her? Ha ha.."

Why do I have the feeling this guy married her, in part (I give benefit of the doubt) because of her shape. And maybe not her shape as it connects to the more important element, her soul. Her heart.

See, my wife has been obese her entire life. So when I hear a guy talk about "getting his wife back" again after she loses weight, I seeth. The ONLY acceptable way to use this logic is if the 40 pound loss aided in reducing or eliminating a medical problem. Then, that's great. But if it's simply because his wife's got "the hots" back? GIVE ME A BREAK.

I've only known my wife to be at under 200 pounds in our 19 years of marriage on two short-term occasions. Add 40 pounds to her, and nothing changes in the heart and soul. She's just as, how shall I say, ah, good in bed no matter what her weight total has EVER been while we've been together.

She had Lap-Band Surgery in December.

I know you now are rolling your eyes thinking, "oh! Now I get it! Your situation isn't vanity!" THINK, people, think.

She has a direct relative who lives in retirement in an easy chair. Not because of the pension plan and the great financial investments of 40 years. It's because she's a minimum of 300 pounds and rarely can go anywhere except from one adult child's house to another.

My wife wants to ride rollercoasters with her grandchildren. She wants to get back to re-doing the backyard landscape...and re-doing, and re-doing.....

She doesn't want diabetes. In less than 90 days since the surgery, she's already off her HBP medication.

And all this she will.

And me? I won't get "my wife back". She never left. In fact, it'll be strange to see her quite a bit less than me (pressure's on me now!).

MY PROBLEM?---She's already had two customers at her financial institution hit on her. I knew the vain men would start noticing.

As for me? I'm going to bed. :) :) :)

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