Hannah Storm---God Bless You, You Are So Right!!

WOW.

I doubt Ms. Storm will ever come across this blog or this posting, but she will never know how applicable the prayer she carries in her wallet, and posted 12/4 on her blog as she left "The Early Show" on CBS, is to my life right now.

I feel so much in a desert. Friends I can see and touch are almost nil; those I can call and email thankfully quite a few. All I see right now in the desert is sand, a size two pissed-off Jennifer Love Hewitt, and a "lemonade-type stand" that says "Apply Here".

And I keep going there, and going there, and going there, leaving my calling card. I'm beginning to think no one is scheduled to work that kiosk.

Then, at night, what happens? I dream of my old job; once so vividly when I woke up I swore this whole firing/layoff/budget cut (whatever) was a dream and I was supposed to go to work that day.

I spent too much time in bed Wednesday thru Friday....I could have gone to a great luncheon one day to meet up with old friends and colleagues, but I didn't. I realized this whole ordeal is still "raw", and I wasn't ready to answer the same question over and over. And I know I would have had a FANTASTIC time had I gone, but I just didn't want to go under these circumstances.

Let it be known far and wide this was because of MY WEAKNESS, and not of the people who were there. I love them all and know that all would have been wonderful.

But you see, I'm still traveling in this desert. Where are the paved lines? I can't tell when I can pass the slow mirage on a two-way road. They're like the old country roads I drove as a teenager in my hometown. Only they're not made of asphalt or dirt/mud.....

And, as you know, anything heat-related goes totally against my very nature. So, let's face it, I really need to get to some air conditioning soon. But I suffer from the "Charlie Brown Mirage": when I get within touching range of the AC blowing its cool air at full blast, it turns into a rock. I got a rock. Another flippin' rock.

So, tonight, on this the 23rd anniversary of Rupert, the Railroad Track, and the Ring, I look back at what was, what might have been, what should have been, what has been great, what has been disappointing.....

....and what is, well, "is". As in this moment.

And I just ask God to help me follow the wonderful prayer linked to above, and prepare me as well for the next great friend of my lifetime. Come to think of it, the next great group of friends!

But please understand....there is good news! The great friends of one's lifetime are a collection. You never have to trade them in or lose one to have another. They are with me forever, whether I see them every day or once in a blue moon. It's just that right now the deepest pain is losing time spent with my friends, and one friend who's been and is so special and so dependable. But, praise God, the friendship NEVER ends, but is always in my life, just now in the way God wants that person to be during this, a new season for me.

And all the more reason I pray for them, because I don't want to be in Heaven without them. :)