...I live that day. Ha! No, some days are better than others, and today was okay. As much as I have been cycling emotionally recently, I'll take all the victories I can get. I talked with my doc yesterday about how my cycling (the emotional highs and lows, similar to the way the Israelites kept screwing up in the O.T., hit rock bottom, come back to God, be forgiven and ride high awhile) has gone from "days" to get through a cycle, to, now, sometimes, hours. I liked days better.
So, we're working on medication and stability, and I'm also (more importantly) trying to focus to allow God to let me direct my energies in these areas:
1) Stability---I believe that my personal instabilities don't have to keep me from being stable for someone/something else. I find great solace and personal satisfaction (not from pride, mind you...) in helping others. I love it so much. What keeps me away from that is, of course, me. So, I know situations/people who need prayer, support, and just a presence. Isn't it funny how sometimes, nary a word has to be spoken; yet just someone being there makes all the difference in the world.
2) Focus---As I've peeled back the levels of responsibility recently, I should now be able to better focus on what is needed to be done. No papers to throw, no PTO to run, and now no sermon prep or the late night phone call. It's work, wife, kids, health. With focus brings stability. Plus, the focus has to be correctly directed. Not on me, on others. On God's will. On waiting on God to see Him use what we think is not for our good and turn it on its ear.
3) Joy---Joy ain't glee. Joy is strength when it comes from God. Sometimes I feel God's joy while laughing, and while bawling. Joy brings focus; joy brings stability. The joy of the Lord is my strength. What a great verse from Scripture. Seven simple words, eternally-powered.
So, after taking a moment to decipher some things, I realize....
Presence speaks volumes. Let it do the talking.
I'm glad for my presence tonight at the kitchen table with Rachel, reading with her from her 3rd grade book about Beezus and Ramona, some of my favorite childhood characters, which brought a smile to her face. I'm thankful I was present last night to just spend some time with the missus.
And, so, as this journey continues....I see the times I type the term "glad", and appreciate them more. Thanks to joy. His joy.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
My music list goes on a diet:
I'll never have the time, or discipline, to sit down and decide my 365 favorite songs of all time, but I think I can do a good search through my brain, write down lots of entries, cross 'em out as I go, and come up with a Top 100. Maybe that'll be my goal this weekend. Have that done before......
------------------------------------------------------------------------
LIVE BLOGGING, Sunday and Monday night, 8 to 10pm ET, as we live the first four hours of Frank Flynn......yeah, right....Jack Bauer's new day on "24". Have to shout it out in real-time.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
BREAKING THOUGHT: I don't watch "Lost", but my wife is, and the final 15 minutes of tonight's new episode was a great example of redemption. Miss it? Find it.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Finally---DECEMBER'S WINNING NUMBERS!~~~they were 5, 15, and 22.
(in closing....thanks to Thinkexist.com, this thought....
“It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching.”
--- St. Francis of Assisi, (Founder of the Franciscan order, 1181-1226)
No comments:
Post a Comment