Rob's Always Fearless, Always Wrong 2024 NFL Predictions

Honestly, I didn't mean to ignore the blog for a year. It's been a year alright.

Now, as the Ravens and Chiefs prepare to kick off, and, while prepping for our Randolph-Macon football opener Friday (yes, Friday!) night in Pennsylvania, let's shallow dive into the 2024 NFL season, which, frankly, I don't care too much about.

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AFC EAST:

1) Miami Dolphins (10-7): Are the parts better than the sum of the whole? And I like Tua, as a lefty with a lefty-throwing brother and son.  :)

2) Buffalo Bills (9-8): Josh Allen is good, but when you take a lot of his toys out of the toy chest, how much can he do? Likely just enough to be in position for the final wild card berth on the final Sunday of the regular season.

3) New York Jets (7-10): Sorry Evan (and all other Jets fans), it's just not meant to be with Aaron Rodgers. I'm not saying he's going down on the fourth play from scrimmage, I'm saying this seems to be a collection of players with a coach that is likely better suited to be a coordinator. And there's no shame in that.

4) New England Patriots (4-13): A rough first season for After Belichick, Season One. Will there be more points scored by the Patriots or more TV appearances by Bill?

AFC CENTRAL:

1) Baltimore Ravens (13-4): If John Harbaugh can be patient, and wait to unleash Derrick Henry in December and January, then maybe, maybe the Ravens can play in February? The defense will need to pick up a couple of close wins.

2) Cincinnati Bengals (10-7): Bengal fans have seen this before. A year after disappointment due to injury, now uncertainty takes over. For my daughter, worried about the secondary, and always worried about protection for Joe. If they can keep him upright, the record may be better.

3) Pittsburgh Steelers (8-9): The streak is over. Sadly, Russell Wilson's time as a starting quarterback may be, too. The Tomlin Watch is really underway in the Steel City.

4) Cleveland Browns (6-11): They have, what, fifteen quarterbacks on the roster? I thought Deshaun Watson, when finally healthy and allowed to play, was the key ingredient to finally getting Cleveland to the promised land...

AFC SOUTH:

1) Houston Texans (11-6): I was wowed by C.J. Stroud last year. I'm concerned that Stefon Diggs' baggage may be more impactful than his performance. I love Tank Dell. I'm really hoping Houston does build on their 2023 season, as Stroud may be the player, already, best positioned to knock off the guy a few states north of him.

2) Tennessee Titans (8-9): Not many people are giving Tennessee a chance. I think Will Levis may surprise. There will have to be a few players, unknown on the day I'm typing this, who will have to really step up for this to happen.

3) Jacksonville Jaguars (7-10): Not a good year in Duval. I'm not sold on Trevor Lawrence, whose only playoff win was against the Chargers. 

4) Indianapolis Colts (6-11): We just don't know about Anthony Richardson. It's certainly not his fault, with his rookie season effectively stolen by injury. But what weapons will there be? I hope Mo-Alie Cox has a big All-Pro season.

AFC WEST:

1) Kansas City Chiefs (14-3): An opening night victory against Baltimore will clinch the home-field advantage, forcing the Ravens to come back west in late January (I think I just typed a spoiler.....). And the Chiefs may clinch the division BEFORE Thanksgiving.

2) Los Angeles Chargers (7-10): The only reason they get the #2 spot is because they have the better starting quarterback in the group that includes the two teams below them.

3) Denver Broncos (5-12): Sean Peyton never thought this would happen when he was comfortably sitting in the Fox studios two years ago.....

4) Las Vegas Raiders (3-14): There will be nothing to gamble for when it comes to my favorite team this year, unless you're looking to short sell....

AFC PLAYOFFS:

1) Kansas City

2) Baltimore
3) Houston

4) Miami

5) Cincinnati

6) Buffalo

7) Tennessee

WILD CARD (Oh, sorry....) SUPER WILD CARD ROUND:

2) Baltimore d. 7) Tennessee

3) Houston d. 6) Buffalo

5) Cincinnati d. 4) Miami

DIVISIONAL ROUND

1) Kansas City d. 5) Cincinnati

2) Baltimore d. 3) Houston

AFC CHAMPIONSHIP

1) Kansas City d. 2) Baltimore

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NFC EAST:

1) Philadelphia Eagles (11-6): They'll start slow, but right the ship in reverse 2023 fashion. I get the feeling that if they don't do it this year.....

2) Washington Commanders (8-9): The surprise team of the NFC this year. Jayden Daniels will be Offensive Rookie of the Year. They'll need a second wide receiver to step up, though, and some semblance of defense, to make this happen.

3) Dallas Cowboys (8-9): We're "all in". I'm not unimpressed with them not making a big free agency splash. Maybe they believe in the players they have. Maybe they, collectively, have underperformed.

4) New York Giants (5-12): This isn't going to be pretty. The biggest questions in the Big Apple will be who the head coach and the starting quarterback will be in 2025.

NFC NORTH:

1) Detroit Lions (13-4): It's going to be a shootout this year between the new guys, these Lions, not like the usual Lions, and the Green Bay Packers, who suddenly are back thanks to Jordan Love. Love vs. Goff. Three rounds this year?

2) Green Bay Packers (12-5): I hope Josh Jacobs has a fantastic season! The difference between first and second in the division will be a Thanksgiving loss, at home, to Miami.

3) Chicago Bears (6-11): Pump the brakes, everyone. Caleb Williams will be fine, but there are an incredible amount of moving parts here, and maybe not the right head coach to get the most out of them.

4) Minnesota Vikings (4-13): Your rookie QB is already gone, your replacement was a high-draft bust. Ask Jets fans. Justin Jefferson may be asking for a trade by November.

NFC SOUTH:

1) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (10-7): No one is talking about the Bucs. Again. Just the way they like it. And, truly, this was the best case scenario for both the franchise and no longer erstwhile quarterback Baker Mayfield.

2) Atlanta Falcons (7-10): Kirk Cousins is 1-4 all-time in the playoffs. To be fair, he inherited one of those losses when RGIII went down in 2012/2013. He's perhaps the best business quarterback in NFL history. He's made, like, $2.1 billion?? Maybe next year, when Michael Penix, Jr. is ready.

3) Carolina Panthers (5-12): A step forward for Bryce Young, but the team needs a whole lot more on the roster.

4) New Orleans Saints (5-12): Who gets fired first: Dennis Allen or Brian Daboll?

NFC WEST:

1) Los Angeles Rams (12-5): Aaron Donald may wish he was playing again. The good times are back for Sean McVay and company.

2) San Francisco 49ers (11-6): The Rams sweep the 49ers in the regular season to earn the division crown, but, honestly, who would want the 49ers as their draw on Super Wild Card Weekend?

3) Arizona Cardinals (7-10): Kyler Murray is better than people give him credit for. Marvin Harrison, Jr. arrives. And, of course, I'm rooting big time for Greg Dortch and Kei' Trel Clark!

4) Seattle Seahawks (5-12): The wheels come off the bus. And I'm not putting this on Geno Smith. It's a collective team thing. Darrell Taylor left just in time.

NFC PLAYOFFS:

1) Detroit

2) Los Angeles Rams

3) Philadelphia

4) Tampa Bay

5) Green Bay

6) San Francisco

7) Washington

SUPER WILD CARD ROUND:

2) LA Rams d. 7) Washington

6) San Francisco d. 3) Philadelphia

5) Green Bay d. 4) Tampa Bay

DIVISIONAL ROUND:

1) Detroit d. 6) San Francisco

2) LA Rams d. 5) Green Bay

NFC CHAMPIONSHIP:

2) LA Rams d. 1) Detroit

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SUPER BOWL 59: The Rams return, the Chiefs wilt under the "three-peat" pressure and Taylor Swift has enough material in one day to make a triple-CD collection of new music, dropping at 12:01am sometime in mid-April.

Los Angeles Rams 24, Kansas City Chiefs 21

Remember, don't use this for ANY wagering!!

Enjoy the season. I'm entering the tunnel... (Go Yellow Jackets!!)