Rob's Always Fearless, Always Wrong, 2023 NFL Predictions

I'm not a happy camper, sitting in bed when I should be getting ready to broadcast Varina at Hermitage football. But, without a voice, it's hard to do radio. So, I figured I would squeeze in another exciting season of incorrect NFL predictions as the season begins tonight. What do you say? And away we go!

NFC EAST:

1) Philadelphia Eagles (13-4): They came so close last February. The back half of their schedule is much tougher than the front, but they'll build this record around a 5-1 divisional mark.

2) Dallas Cowboys (9-8): They'll hand the Eagles their lone divisional loss, but not much else will make sense this season, which could be the end for Mike McCarthy, maybe even especially if they lose their first playoff game.

3) Washington Commanders (7-10): New owner, same results. Another losing season. Even if Sam Howell has a great year, there simply aren't enough pieces around him to create an offense good enough to win 35-31 type games against the Eagles. Their defense will take a step back, too, in what could be Ron Rivera's final season. The new owner may be putting a large imprint on this franchise come January.

4) New York Giants (4-13): I love the Giants. LOVE them. Second only to the Raiders. But this team will give us the surprise implosion of the 2023 season. Daniel Jones will be an absolute disaster, injuries will decimate the defense. Barkley will be "day-to-day" this season, a lot. Giant fans will not be happy when the reality sets in of just how much the front office committed to Jones and Barkley. 

NFC NORTH:

1) Minnesota Vikings (11-6): In an offseason where the Lions were named the shiny new toy, the Bears earned unreal amounts of attention, and the Packers made their long-awaited pivot from Aaron Rodgers, nobody talked about the Vikings. That's fine by them. Yes, they like that. They won't go 77-0 in one-score games, but they'll do enough to take the North. Two wins in the last three games over the darlings will clinch.

2) Chicago Bears (9-8): Justin Fields will have the Bears in the playoff race, but a surprise New Year's Day loss to Atlanta will cost them dearly, leaving them just short of the playoff goal.

3) Detroit Lions (6-11): C'mon everybody. They're the Lions! And they're going to have to win four games out of five in December to at least be able to fend off....

4) Green Bay Packers (5-12): There will be little to cheer about in Lambeau this season, as Packer fans get presented a stark reality that their 30-year run with franchise quarterbacks is definitely over. 

NFC SOUTH:

1) Carolina Panthers (9-8): Things will not be pretty down south in the NFC this season. But a "Rookie Of The Year" season for quarterback Bryce Young will be enough to find a way to get to the postseason. A New Year's Eve win over Jacksonville will be just enough to get past.....

2) Atlanta Falcons (9-8): Not sold on Desmond Ridder, but I don't think he'll be terrible either. Thus, the #7 seed in a very weak NFC.

3) New Orleans Saints (6-11): I cannot get behind a team whose head coach is Dennis Allen. I just can't. And for all the numbers Derek Carr put up for my Raiders, he won exactly zero playoff games (though the way 2016 ended wasn't his fault).

4) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (4-13): I'm not exactly sure what this franchise is actually doing. A race to the bottom with Arizona?

NFC WEST:

1) San Francisco 49ers (14-3): Brock Purdy is for real. Keep him healthy, and watch the 49ers fly. I am expecting huge things out of this team this season, so long as they avoid the injury bug (Purdy, George Kittle, Bosa, Christian McCaffrey, Deebo.....)

2) Los Angeles Rams (10-7): This team did win the Super Bowl less than two years ago, and I have a hard time believing this "disconnect" Matthew Stafford has with younger teammates is really a problem. Don't rush Cooper Kupp back, and things will be fine. It's easier to win when no one expects you to.

3) Seattle Seahawks (7-10): Quarterback plays over his head for one year, gets a nice deal, and returns to reality. That's the 2023 Seattle Seahawks season in one sentence. Goodbye Pete Carroll?

4) Arizona Cardinals (2-15): Yeah, they'll win the race to the bottom. If Kyler Murray likes warm weather, I hear Tampa Bay will be hiring.....

PLAYOFFS:

DIVISION WINNERS:
East: Philadelphia
North: Minnesota
South: Carolina
West: San Francisco

Wild Cards: Los Angeles Rams, Dallas, Atlanta

BYE: San Francisco

WILD CARD ROUND:
#2 Philadelphia d. #7 Atlanta
#3 Minnesota d. #6 Dallas
#5 Los Angeles Rams d. #4 Carolina

DIVISIONAL ROUND:
#1 San Francisco d. #5 Los Angeles Rams
#2 Philadelphia d. #3 Minnesota

NFC CHAMPIONSHIP:
#1 San Francisco 38, #2 Philadelphia 24

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AFC:

AFC EAST:

1) BUFFALO BILLS (13-4): Their window is actually closing. There needs to be an added sense of urgency in Western New York this season. Is the firepower around Josh Allen enough to match the pieces in Cincinnati or Kansas City? Is the defense good enough? 

2) MIAMI DOLPHINS (10-7): Remember the "Tua Sweepstakes" near the end of the last decade? I haven't given up on him. A concussion-free season is crucial for this season and his long-term future. I believe he will have one and that the Dolphin defense will play surprisingly well. Good things in Miami this year.

3) NEW YORK JETS (7-10): It didn't go well for Brett Favre in New Jersey, and it won't for Aaron Rodgers, either. He's also 40. Not everyone can be like Tom Brady or George Blanda. I'm rooting for Mehki Becton!!!!!

4) NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (7-10): Could this be the end of the line for Bill?

AFC NORTH:

1) CINCINNATI BENGALS (13-4): No one could sweep this division, but the Joe Burrow-led Bengals will come close. There should be a sense of urgency here, too, for a Lombardi, for soon, contracts will be coming due, and we all know Mike Brown is, perhaps, the greatest penny-pincher in NFL history, tied with his father Paul.

2) PITTSBURGH STEELERS (10-7): I'm not a Kenny Pickett fan by any means, but I wouldn't bet against Mike Tomlin. I can see enough improvement here, combined with a lights-out defensive season.

3) BALTIMORE RAVENS (8-9): Okay, they got LJ (which should have happened ages ago)... who else do they have?

4) CLEVELAND BROWNS (5-12): And the mess that is this once great franchise (see: 1964) continues....

AFC SOUTH:

1) TENNESSEE TITANS (10-7): Derrick Henry. The rest of the division doesn't have him. The Titans do.

2) JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS (9-8): Yes, Trevor Lawrence looked much better down the stretch last year. If they were in the NFC South, they'd probably go 13-4. The AFC is just so much tougher.

3) INDIANAPOLIS COLTS (5-12): A tough first year for their new quarterback, but, at this point in franchise history, I understand why they send him to the lions. You know quickly what you have and whether they have to consider putting the hat in the 2024 quarterback ring.

4) HOUSTON TEXANS (4-13): The Texans have their quarterback. Now they need address many, many other positions.

AFC WEST:

1) LOS ANGELES CHARGERS (12-5): The good news is the Chargers will win the division. The bad news comes later.

2) KANSAS CITY CHIEFS (11-6): This team is overdue for a problematic season. However, they are so good and coached so well that they'll still make the postseason with little issue.

3) DENVER BRONCOS (8-9): Sean Payton doesn't lose a lot. The biggest question in the Mile High City this year will be whether or not he'd like to lose the starting quarterback he inherited.

4) LAS VEGAS RAIDERS (5-12): Another lost season for my beloved Raiders. Nothing will save us so long as our head coach is Josh McDaniels. Dear Lord.....

PLAYOFFS:

DIVISION WINNERS:
East: Buffalo Bills
North: Cincinnati Bengals
South: Tennessee Titans
West: Los Angeles Chargers

Wild Cards: Kansas City, Pittsburgh, Miami

BYE: Cincinnati

WILD CARD ROUND:
#2 Buffalo d. #7 Miami
#6 Pittsburgh d. #3 Los Angeles Chargers
#5 Kansas City d. #4 Tennessee

DIVISIONAL ROUND:
#1 Cincinnati d. #5 Kansas City
#2 Buffalo d. #6 Pittsburgh

AFC CHAMPIONSHIP:
#1 Cincinnati 28, #2 Buffalo 19

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SUPER BOWL LVIII: It's round three for my kids' favorite teams, the first showdown between the franchises in their lifetime. The difference this time? The "Joe" plays for Cincinnati.

CINCINNATI 34, SAN FRANCISCO 33


Enjoy the season everyone!!!