Pray for the people in the Mid-South tonight as they're under a huge breakout of tornadoes. Memphis alone is bracing for a third line of severe weather today. Already an area mall has suffered significant damage.
For more on Memphis, click here.
Nashville is in the crosshairs at this hour; for details now and any aftermath, click here.
For my friends here in Richmond, Virginia, not to scare but to advise....my wife and I were on vacation in Nashville in August, 1993 when a horrible line of storms came through one evening, cancelling plans as we decided to head straight home the next day.
That "next day" was August 6, 1993, when the tornado outbreak hit Petersburg and Colonial Heights, destroying homes, parts of Historic Petersburg, and tore through the heart of the then Wal-Mart in Colonial Heights.
We have severe weather possible tomorrow. Keep your eyes on radar and the skies tomorrow!!!!
Showing posts with label Wal-Mart. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Wal-Mart. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Thursday, January 03, 2008
The Wal-Mart Family Cookbook.....ha!
So, I'm sitting here at the desktop yesterday, viewing job listing number 477 (after awhile it's all a combination of blur and frustration), I glance over to my left and look at the bookcase....
....and, again proving how little I was home up until November, I saw the following:
"The Wal-Mart Family Cookbook".
I immediately thought, "I could go a million directions with this one!"
So, here are a few rejected recipes for their cookbook, that would rate five stars if I had authored the cookbook.....
"Employee Shrug Salad"
Ingredients:
-1 part shopper question
-3 parts Wal-Mart employee
1 part "staring into space face"
1 part "fire in the eyes"
1 part "combination of ambiguity and apathy"
-1 part item in secret location no one in the company knows
-3 parts inability to communicate
Take all parts to department of your choice (after stopping in housewares to find whatever pot is available), place into pot, and stir. Mixer not needed, the result is the same no matter how mixed up the parts are.
Place in blue vest and wait until you say "excuse me" for the 7th time.
Serve only to people seriously in need of being completely ignored.
---------------------------------------------
"Never-Moving Conga Line Linguini"
Ingredients:
-Seven people who still shop at Wal-Mart despite the presence of a beautiful Super Target right across the street.
-1 part "peak shopping time" on Saturday
-A Wal-Mart with 32 shopping check-out aisles
-Said Wal-Mart with only four of 32 check-out aisles open
-Two aisles contain blinking number lights, waiting for manager currently on cell phone in restroom working on toilet paper budget with District Supervisor
-One aisle with employee seeming to be working, but number light is off, leaving the question "Open, or Not Open"?
-One aisle open, light on, with employee seemingly mesmerized that someone can buy bagged salad, motor oil, and dungarees at the same store.
DIRECTIONS:
Place seven shoppers in line from nicest to most ornery
Tie them up with linguini
Place at register with light on
Turn on "Conga" from an 80s CD from the music department that sells for $5.99 because all the songs on the CD are redone by "The Music Machine", instead of the original artist.
Have seven shoppers hop up and down in place, signifying complete absence of progress until all seven collapse on the floor.
Serve equally as EMT's arrive.
---------------------------------------
Nothing says "family" like, "Price Check Register 19!"....then she closes register 19 before the manager evens answers the call and walks away.
....and, again proving how little I was home up until November, I saw the following:
"The Wal-Mart Family Cookbook".
I immediately thought, "I could go a million directions with this one!"
So, here are a few rejected recipes for their cookbook, that would rate five stars if I had authored the cookbook.....
"Employee Shrug Salad"
Ingredients:
-1 part shopper question
-3 parts Wal-Mart employee
1 part "staring into space face"
1 part "fire in the eyes"
1 part "combination of ambiguity and apathy"
-1 part item in secret location no one in the company knows
-3 parts inability to communicate
Take all parts to department of your choice (after stopping in housewares to find whatever pot is available), place into pot, and stir. Mixer not needed, the result is the same no matter how mixed up the parts are.
Place in blue vest and wait until you say "excuse me" for the 7th time.
Serve only to people seriously in need of being completely ignored.
---------------------------------------------
"Never-Moving Conga Line Linguini"
Ingredients:
-Seven people who still shop at Wal-Mart despite the presence of a beautiful Super Target right across the street.
-1 part "peak shopping time" on Saturday
-A Wal-Mart with 32 shopping check-out aisles
-Said Wal-Mart with only four of 32 check-out aisles open
-Two aisles contain blinking number lights, waiting for manager currently on cell phone in restroom working on toilet paper budget with District Supervisor
-One aisle with employee seeming to be working, but number light is off, leaving the question "Open, or Not Open"?
-One aisle open, light on, with employee seemingly mesmerized that someone can buy bagged salad, motor oil, and dungarees at the same store.
DIRECTIONS:
Place seven shoppers in line from nicest to most ornery
Tie them up with linguini
Place at register with light on
Turn on "Conga" from an 80s CD from the music department that sells for $5.99 because all the songs on the CD are redone by "The Music Machine", instead of the original artist.
Have seven shoppers hop up and down in place, signifying complete absence of progress until all seven collapse on the floor.
Serve equally as EMT's arrive.
---------------------------------------
Nothing says "family" like, "Price Check Register 19!"....then she closes register 19 before the manager evens answers the call and walks away.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
The Good, The Bad, The Wal-Mart!
So, Christmas morning, Rachel and I are waiting for Robbie and Mom. For some reason, Robbie, who wakes up with roosters every other day, seems to sleep in most every Christmas morning, but that's another post.
She sees that Santa dropped off the WWE video game he's wanted and brought it to me to look at it. I note that it's labeled "Play Station III" down the left side.
Uh oh. We only have PS2. This isn't good. So, Robbie gets up and we eventually start the present open thingy, and he sees the game and understands (for the most part) about the snafu, as Mom apologized profusely.
"I'll get you out to get it exchanged tomorrow."
So, yes, Dad's gonna go to Wal-Mart. Oh, Wal-Mart....the bane of my existence. Although IF I have to go to a Wal-Mart, the one I will go to is in Ashland. So, into the cold rain we go.
The rest is best described by a portion of an email sent to a friend last evening. I give you that portion; almost verbatim. :)
"Robbie got his WWE video game, well, a day later than planned. We bought PS3 version and we just have PS2, so it was off to (ugh!) Wal-Mart this morning to trade. The only Wal-Mart I'll agree to go to did not have the PS2 in stock, but the customer service lady was incredibly helpful and wonderful (the kind you need to call the manager and compliment!); she called another store and found a copy, so off we went to that W-M. Only problem; it's the one I CANNOT STAND!!
Sure enough, the lady at the door would here nothing of the fact we'd already talked to their electronics department; we HAD to go to customer service first, so I just ended up agreeing with her, heading to C.S ., telling the kids, "...let's just do this, and end the conversation." Well, for today's rush, Customer Service was only taking warranty issues. They had four register lines dedicated to returns/exchanges only. Sounds very customer-oriented, doesn't it?
Aisles 17, 18, 20 and 22. 17 was open with a line. 18's light was off with a line (is she getting ready to take a break??). Meanwhile, 20 and 22 aren't even open; no blue vests to be found. Finally, realizing what my kids were trying to tell me ("Dad, they talked to Electronics, let's just go there"), I said, "Let's go".
Line again. With a side order of some disarray. A gentleman helps us; the kids going around the corner to pick up the PS2 version; which the gentleman does and takes to register; which by this time, has some more people in, ah, "line". Looked more like a half-a-football-huddle. Robbie makes the "move" in the line/pack after a customer finished, and aggressively (without realizing it!) got to the register. One might have thought Robbie had "cut in line"; the other people not knowing that those he stood "with" had come post our arrival. Long story short, guy finds manager (dressed in a Redskins jersey), who escorts us to Customer Service.
No, not those register places. The real CS. Somehow, she got the lady there to take care of our exchange, when, technically, the law of the day would have overruled. Maybe Redskins lady was her boss, too??
Anyway, a rainy trip to two Wal-Marts comes to a close, and right now it looks like Robbie's wrestler is beating his opponent with a bat wrapped at the top with barbed-wire. Nothing says I love you like barbed-wire."
------------------------------------------------------------
I haven't called the Ashland store to praise the lady for her great help. The good news is, there's a whole new plethora of cage matches, Hall of Fame wrestlers to unlock and shovels, rakes, and implements of destruction under the ring. (With all due apologies to Arlo Guthrie).
------------------------------------------------------------
In other news, I SO MUCH enjoyed my luncheon with my old friends (co-workers) today, seeing three of four for the first time since I was, ah, booted. The fact that Olive Garden had enough patrons to fill a small town kinda threw things awry (it was our original meeting place), so one of us traveled just down the street to see the "immediate seating available" light on in the window at TGI Friday's. So, via cell phones and meetings in the parking lots, we all make it to the round table in non-smoking.
It was great to see them, catch up, check on their Christmases, and to know as I left that a sense of "semi-normalcy" was thankfully invading their cubicles/studios. I did note to myself early on that a conversation regarding a current work situation made me feel, for the first time, "outside" the circle so to speak. But that is to be expected!! Life continues, as should their working, their relationships and, I hope and pray, GOOD times for them!! That's what I want for them, because they mean so much to me. :)
If life doesn't go on, what da heck will we laugh about the next time we dine??? :)
I guess I should have added "and the WONDERFUL!" at the end of the post because of our lunch together today. But I'm way too afraid someone will glance at this post, and leave assuming I used the term "wonderful" to describe Wal-Mart, and my friends, nothing (save at least on of their employees!) could be further from the truth. :)
LOL.....go Target!
She sees that Santa dropped off the WWE video game he's wanted and brought it to me to look at it. I note that it's labeled "Play Station III" down the left side.
Uh oh. We only have PS2. This isn't good. So, Robbie gets up and we eventually start the present open thingy, and he sees the game and understands (for the most part) about the snafu, as Mom apologized profusely.
"I'll get you out to get it exchanged tomorrow."
So, yes, Dad's gonna go to Wal-Mart. Oh, Wal-Mart....the bane of my existence. Although IF I have to go to a Wal-Mart, the one I will go to is in Ashland. So, into the cold rain we go.
The rest is best described by a portion of an email sent to a friend last evening. I give you that portion; almost verbatim. :)
"Robbie got his WWE video game, well, a day later than planned. We bought PS3 version and we just have PS2, so it was off to (ugh!) Wal-Mart this morning to trade. The only Wal-Mart I'll agree to go to did not have the PS2 in stock, but the customer service lady was incredibly helpful and wonderful (the kind you need to call the manager and compliment!); she called another store and found a copy, so off we went to that W-M. Only problem; it's the one I CANNOT STAND!!
Sure enough, the lady at the door would here nothing of the fact we'd already talked to their electronics department; we HAD to go to customer service first, so I just ended up agreeing with her, heading to C.S ., telling the kids, "...let's just do this, and end the conversation." Well, for today's rush, Customer Service was only taking warranty issues. They had four register lines dedicated to returns/exchanges only. Sounds very customer-oriented, doesn't it?
Aisles 17, 18, 20 and 22. 17 was open with a line. 18's light was off with a line (is she getting ready to take a break??). Meanwhile, 20 and 22 aren't even open; no blue vests to be found. Finally, realizing what my kids were trying to tell me ("Dad, they talked to Electronics, let's just go there"), I said, "Let's go".
Line again. With a side order of some disarray. A gentleman helps us; the kids going around the corner to pick up the PS2 version; which the gentleman does and takes to register; which by this time, has some more people in, ah, "line". Looked more like a half-a-football-huddle. Robbie makes the "move" in the line/pack after a customer finished, and aggressively (without realizing it!) got to the register. One might have thought Robbie had "cut in line"; the other people not knowing that those he stood "with" had come post our arrival. Long story short, guy finds manager (dressed in a Redskins jersey), who escorts us to Customer Service.
No, not those register places. The real CS. Somehow, she got the lady there to take care of our exchange, when, technically, the law of the day would have overruled. Maybe Redskins lady was her boss, too??
Anyway, a rainy trip to two Wal-Marts comes to a close, and right now it looks like Robbie's wrestler is beating his opponent with a bat wrapped at the top with barbed-wire. Nothing says I love you like barbed-wire."
------------------------------------------------------------
I haven't called the Ashland store to praise the lady for her great help. The good news is, there's a whole new plethora of cage matches, Hall of Fame wrestlers to unlock and shovels, rakes, and implements of destruction under the ring. (With all due apologies to Arlo Guthrie).
------------------------------------------------------------
In other news, I SO MUCH enjoyed my luncheon with my old friends (co-workers) today, seeing three of four for the first time since I was, ah, booted. The fact that Olive Garden had enough patrons to fill a small town kinda threw things awry (it was our original meeting place), so one of us traveled just down the street to see the "immediate seating available" light on in the window at TGI Friday's. So, via cell phones and meetings in the parking lots, we all make it to the round table in non-smoking.
It was great to see them, catch up, check on their Christmases, and to know as I left that a sense of "semi-normalcy" was thankfully invading their cubicles/studios. I did note to myself early on that a conversation regarding a current work situation made me feel, for the first time, "outside" the circle so to speak. But that is to be expected!! Life continues, as should their working, their relationships and, I hope and pray, GOOD times for them!! That's what I want for them, because they mean so much to me. :)
If life doesn't go on, what da heck will we laugh about the next time we dine??? :)
I guess I should have added "and the WONDERFUL!" at the end of the post because of our lunch together today. But I'm way too afraid someone will glance at this post, and leave assuming I used the term "wonderful" to describe Wal-Mart, and my friends, nothing (save at least on of their employees!) could be further from the truth. :)
LOL.....go Target!
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