We're Live Again with "24"!!!

Here we go, kids!

A President in doubt, a stealth fighter loose, and Habib is everywhere!

It's 11pm. Here we go.

11pm: They're still alive; but fading fast.

1103pm: 5500 feet.

1104pm: It's down.

1105pm: Jack pulls strings with his knowledge at DC.

1105pm: Barney Fife gets the news.

1105pm: Maybe he's not so Barney. That other guy smelt to high heaven.

1108pm: Dad wants Jack to recover the football. The nuclear football.

1108pm: The ending of Jack and Audrey continues. Audrey doesn't have "the gift".

1109pm: Dotting couple looking to copulate are about to be interrupted.

1110pm: They should've stayed in the tent to do their intended purpose.

1111pm: "Hey, Ellie, this doesn't say "US Air!""

1112pm: Triple X (whoever he is) can't protect the President! He's already down!!!

1112pm: Sorry, I'm getting my fantasy Hollywood stories mixed up.

1113pm: Oh, dear, those lovey dovey Wal-Mart smile people. I bet they make those smile stickers during a weekend in a tent in the desert.

1116pm: Old man gotta fess up to his mating with Michelle. She still loves Antonio?

1117pm: Rescue's there, according to Chloe. Who's alive? Well, the Prez is. But his son is not. That sucks.

1118pm: Ut oh, maybe he is Barney. C'mon dude, 25th Amendment time! Oh, they didn't tell you about that at the convention???

1118pm: Do NOT trust baldy!!

1119pm: Meanwhile, back on Lovers Lane.....oh c'mon, this guy doesn't know what it is! He's too stressed about work, for heaven's sake.

1120pm: Good call, Jack. Good call. Oh, now Jack talks to Jason. (Good news, Jason is married to the woman in the desert.)

1121pm: Ut oh. Headlights. Ooops.

1121pm: Well, I guess Habib Marwan isn't in the alleys anymore.

1122pm: Jack Bauer presents, "Saving America with a Compass". After all, what good is a nation without a good sense of direction?

1123pm: Oh, great. The nuclear hopes of the world are with a stressed guy trying to do it in the desert with his wife.

1124pm: Yep, Marwan's not in the alley anymore.

1125pm: Jack's number doesn't have "555" in it? What?? Maybe it's his REAL number?
Let's try it! Just kidding.

1127pm: Marwan trying to intercept the football. Sorry, couldn't resist.

NOTE: For heaven's sakes, GET THE SIMPLE LIFE OFF THE AIR!!!

Oh, my local Fox affiliate is now conducting their weekly stupidity test. Plenty of dead air. Get me back to "24" late and you're doomed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We're at the bottom of the hour.

Jack is in flight.
Marwan is on ground.
The prez is critical.
Michelle sure looks pretty when she's stressed.

They're late!!!!! Unacceptable!!!!!!

1131pm: Schematics downloaded; where do we go from here??

1132pm: If I'm a terrorist this close to the nuclear football, don't I RUN INTO THE BUILDING TO FIND THEM???!!!????

1133pm: Shots are fired. The couple looks like a PTO twosome at a PTA lynching.

1134pm: Finally, a terrorist who runs. I was beginning to think they really didn't care that much....

1134pm: Jack's here. Jack says hold on, gotta order pizza. Nope, talk to Audrey.

1135pm: Jack says open the case. Take the playbook. Split up with your wife. He won't, but Jack knows better. Understand? Got it? She gets it. Lord, Jason's REALLY stressed now.

1136pm: No, but one last kiss before we put the free world in both our hands! How romantic!

NOTE: Amityville Horror?? Again? Can't they think something original?? Is Margot Kidder in this one?

FightFraud dot org. Would anyone have a site called "support fraud dot org"??

OH, MAN!! I LOVE CINGULAR!!! STAR WARS BABY!! Chewbacca in the studio; can't wait for his greatest hits CD.

This is an American Idol Alert. Stay indoors. Move away from the windows.

1141pm: The shooting continues. No word on the Prez' condition; we're too busy seeing Jack pinned down. He'll get 'em. Just wait.

1142pm: A quick greeting of "hey" before shooting the enemy always adds a classy touch.

1143pm: Breaking news---Marwan can run, too!! Oh, and they think they've got it.

1145pm: Oh, great. Way to go lady.

1145pm: Hurry Jack!!

1146pm: Promise of a terrorist. Yeah, right.

1149pm: Jack keeps suddenly unhappy couple eligible for children; and he doesn't have possession of the football. Use your three timeouts, and force Marwan to punt. Besides, he'll play prevent defense.

MOVIE: Kingdom of Heaven. Great. Let's remind ourselves of poor moments in Christianity decision-making.

WAIT: There's a new most popular bra! But I was too busy typing to see it! Oh, well, if it's that popular, one should be coming home soon.

NEWS PROMO: "Rain hits the area". Dear Lord, like we've never had precipitation.

1153pm: Helicopter 1, Jeep 0.

1154pm: INTERCEPTED!! Bauer's at the, ah, high plain.....

1154pm: Oh, crap. They took excerpts.

1155pm: Fife? Not Fife? Fife? Baldy, he's still bad.

1157pm: Watch for a gun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1159pm: Ummmm, thought ol' Mike was in on it. Jack calls Mike, and Fife suddenly looks like Fife again.

Well...next week??

Watch the preview! I am!!

FIRST: What do you get when you mix two 70s hits, "Kung Fu Fighting" and "The Hustle"? A new movie!! "Kung Fu Hustle"? Starring Van McCoy and the David Carradine Symphony....

NOW, NEXT WEEK:

"Make a sound, and I'll blow your head off all over the windshield."

That's all I needed to hear. We'll be fine next hour.

:)

Good night!