One of those funky days....

I don't know if it's the weather, or just a simple fact of life while dealing with/fighting depression. Today was one of those "funky" days (with apologies to those who like positive connotations of the word funky; I mean no disrespect to ya!). I was just blue....for the stupidest reasons. You know, things that would make you jealous in the fifth grade reasons....

Last night, I'm in the van waiting on Bonnie and Robbie to pick up Rachel from Awana, and I start thinking of Mama and just started crying. Where did that come from? It's not any type of anniversary or anything, but it could I'm feeling angst for Bonnie's family, as her grandma's life hangs in the balance right now. Add that to the "usual" circumstances of day-to-day life and today was simply a clunker. The girls in the office probably thought I had swallowed a porcupine or something....

I'm not one who can easily "wipe a slate clean", and "start a new day" sometimes, but I need to tomorrow. In fact, it must be done. Work drives me bonkers, but the people I'm around daily keep me going (plus the fact that I actually like what I do...). The last thing I need to do is alienate myself from them.

Another "bothering" point, I guess, is what I call the "pastor syndrome". In my 20's this was no issue, because, well, I wasn't a pastor, I was a radio personality. I got alot of, "you're the guy on the radio", or "your voice sounds familiar....", but none of the usual "preacher" comments.

Now, through my 30's, I have, and I've learned one huge lesson...it is very, very hard for people in my profession to really have "lots of friends". There have been times in the past seven years where I felt almost "friendless". Here are the two roadblocks I and other ministers face:

1) No one can be your "friend" at the church you pastor. First, you are the "shepherd", and the shepherd cares for, protects, and guides the sheep, but you really don't see the shepherd out grazing with them. So, even though it's human nature that a pastor will "hit it off" better with some congregants than others, he works carefully to try to avoid that good ol' sense of favoritism. Now, I'll tell you, I try not to play favorites, but also, those who have shown coldness and rejection to me don't get many handshakes from me.

My point being is a pastor, from a respect standpoint, doesn't have to keep shaking the hand of someone who doesn't respect him, and doesn't mind showing it, even in public. If you either show me you don't want my company, or just simply don't respect me, at least for the position which I hold, then I simply choose not to spend time with you unless necessary. I get flagellated enough in life; so I choose to avoid the beatings which I can see from a mile away.

Bottom line; you create problems when you "play favorites". I will admit, though, that I have no problems spending more time with the sheep who are positive, offer their help to the cause, and do show respect.

2) Outside the church circle, I am always stuck with the moniker, call it what you will, "preacher", "pastor" "Rev", whatever. That automatically brings assumptions to people's minds as to who I am, what I do, what I don't do, how I act, etc. etc.....

I try to tell people I'm "the Christian with heathen tendencies"; I am in no way perfect, and struggle daily, yet I also like to laugh, do crazy things, and have sex.....(with my wife, now...don't get carried away......:) )

(You know, no one can imagine the preacher having sex, much like thinking of your parents.....yecchh!!)

Yet, people still place you in some type of box which reminds themselves and others that you are, a "preacher" (predominate word used here in the South...).

Yes, I'm a preacher, which is a "part" of me. I'm Rob. I like Genesis, the Old Testament book, and the rock band! And sometimes, it's hard to get people to understand this sort of thing....

Well, enough of that for now.

SONG I'M LISTENING TO: "Steve McQueen"--from Sheryl Crow I once quoted a Sheryl Crow song in a sermon recently. I only knew this song from the Wrangler/Dale Earnhardt Jr TV ad and the hook got me. I HAD to have this song. Won the CD on EBay and got it in the mail Friday. Now, what I did NOT know was that Sheryl drops the "S-Bomb" at the start of verse two.....other than that, this song absolutely rocks.

Other notes:

Rachel is happy to report that "Kissy-Boy" is officially not at the new school, so, no more terror on the playground.

Robbie has to get a "psuedo-tuxedo" to perform w/Intermediate Chorus this year, and, gets to try out for All-Regional Chorus. Yikes! Has it been 20 years since I sang in that group??!!??

Bonnie's suddenly very happy. That's the only comment I'm gonna make....:)

Remnants of Jeanne in the house tonight and tomorrow...then, maybe, finally, the hurricanes will stop. It's NOTHING here, like in Florida. We only had a one-night surprise flood (though we did have casualities), it still pales in comparison to what's happened to Florida, the town of Sebastian in particular.

Well, this blog entry was written by someone with "Rev" at the start of his signature....hope this doesn't box in your thinking. Think I'll take my Abacab CD with me to work tomorrow...